|
AARON "FORD"
|
You can't stop him but, oddly enough,
you can contain him. Aaron has taken his team
[Cole Steamers] to record
heights with his championships and home run records. He rarely
swings at a ball and only throws a bad pitch when he wants you to
chase it [damn I hate that]. |
|
MIKE "C"
|
He's the league's commissioner, webmaster
and whipping boy (no, not in a s&m sorta way - he loses all the
time). His team [Dayton Drunks] hasn't tasted any kind of real victory since 1999.
As he gets older, he seems to lose even more ability and people
wonder if it's time for him to hang it up - he's becoming the Ricky
Henderson of the league. |
|
ZOHRAB "BELLS" "Z"
|
One of the veterans of the league but he
seems to be hitting his prime. His team
[Barstow Boozers] was once the League Bitch but, over the
past couple seasons, he has become a top three player and has won
his first championship. Plus,
he's still the king of entrances and antics. |
|
LANCE
|
New Jersey boy showing these valley
floor dudes how wiffle is played. Lance is a recent transplant
to Fresno and a big addition to the league. He has one of the
nastiest sliders anybody in Fresno has seen. His new team
[Cedar] is the first true challenger to Ford's championship
winning ways. |
|
PATRICK
|
The newest member of the league has
already brought a lot of energy and drinking ability to the league -
something the league was losing a bit. He seems to improve
with every game and we look forward to his team
DeWolf to make some noise in the
future. |
|
DUSTIN
|
Dustin is still considered a new player
even though he's been around for a few years. He's still new
because he doesn't play enough. Once this guy plays with some
regularity, his team [Winery/Cole?]
will be a force...force. |
|
DEREK "D"
|
He was the best player in the early
years of the league [eighties] but now, due to lack of play, nobody
knows what he is anymore (kinda like Eddie Van Halen). His
team is still Palo Alto but he now
lives in San Diego and one wonders why he hasn't started a league
there. Um, wait, I know now - BECAUSE IT'S FUCKIN' SAN DIEGO!
WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TAKE THE TIME TO START A WIFFLEBALL LEAGUE,
WHEN YOU LIVE IN SAN DIEGO? HAVE YOU SEEN THE WOMEN
THERE? |
|
CARL "LOS" |
Man, this dude, it's so frustrating - if
he would just come out and play a full season. He has the
hardest fastball in the league and the heaviest swing but doesn't
play enough. His team [D'wood Law Dawgs]
has been the only real rival for Ford. It would be great to
see him play a full season but that might never happen; good for
everybody's record, bad for the league. |
|
DOUG "BURNS" |
Burnsey, Burnsey, Burnsey - How Bad? |
