Fresnans and podcasts

So you're caught up on the latest Dorktown podcasts right?

Like Episode 50 when the Roller Grrls taught us a lesson or two. Or Episode 52 when we said goodbye to Bryan Zera, and Producer Becky fuckin' BROUGHT IT! How about the most current one, Episode 53, when we sold out to "Locked and Loaded" the penis accessory folks.

Get back into the Fresno Dork!

And, if you have caught up, please check out my blog called The Fresnan and waste some time with that while we plan the next show (likely over Thanksgiving weekend).

Thanks for all the damn support Dorks!

-Mikey

mike@dorktown.net

Fresdork moves up to Fresgeek

I've been writing this blog for a long time (in blog years). It started over here but the Dorktown Podcast took that over and I moved my blog over here.

Well, I'm moving again.

Please check out my new website over at thefresnan.com. There will still be some posts here but all of the posts will be over there and eventually this blog will be just archives.

Sorry for the little hicup and I hope everyone that's subscribed to the Dorktown blog will join us over at The Fresnan.

Less dork, more geek.

Fresno on the in looking outside

Recently, a neighborhood blogging website called outside.in did a list of America's Bloggiest Cities.  Boston and Philly were determined to be the top cities for local bloggging.

Fresno didn't make the top ten.  Fresno wasn't even in their top 54.

Boise and Reno were amongst those 54 cities.  OH HELLLL NO!  They can kick our ass in football, but they can't blog better than us...can they?

This could not stand.

So I took it upon myself to write a smart and scathing email to outside.in...alright, it wasn't smart or even scathing...I just begged them to include Fresno on their website.  It worked.  This is the quote I got back:

Thanks for the heads up about Fresno! You were right, Fresno is definitely outside.in city-worthy. Enjoy!

Hells yes. Fresno is on the blogging map and gaining ground in the blogsphere.  So if you have a Fresno blog that would fit the site or just want to point out some places that should be on the Fresno page, go on over and check it out.

Here we come Boise, you blogging badasses.

---
*Speaking of Fresno blogging, I've started a new Fresno blog, please check it out at www.thefresnan.com and tell me what ya think.
[where: 93704]

Go Derby it up next time

If you haven't been to a Fresno Roller Derby, you've been missin' out. Dorktown went for ya THIS TIME. And took some of our un-famous atmosphere video:



SCRG Video

Buttoms Up time with Van Halen, Fresno

It has been hinted at, but now it's official: Break out your assless chaps because Van Halen is coming to Fresno November 29th.

Saturday. 10:00 AM. Save Mart Center. Tickets. Get Them. (Even if Eddie has turned sober asshole to Mikie.)

Too bad the show isn't going to be at Selland Arena, like it was in 79.

"BOTTOMS UP" in 79!


Now check out "Beautiful Girls" 07 style. Wolfie is no Mikie with the vocals:

Mustache giving Bee critic bad advice

The Bee's Rick Bentley is showing his age. It's time for Heather or somebody with some young critic blood to help Old Grey Mustache out.

Rick disagreed with "30 Rock" winning an Emmy for best comedy:

Maybe it was a dream. Please someone wake me up. "30 Rock" could not have been named best comedy. Alec Baldwin is the only funny part of the show and he did not win. The win by NBC's "30 Rock" makes the dream about being in front of a class, naked and without your homework seem rather tame.

Sorry Greystache, but "30 Rock" is funny as hell and it's been a long time since a woman as smart and funny as Tina Fey has hit comedy. Even longer then it takes to trim that stache.

I got "pinched" at the Alice in Chains concert

Dude I got caught Wednesday night. Caught trying to sneak my camera and mini-recorder into Selland as I attempted to get into the Sparta, AIC, Velvet Revolver show. So I have no video clips, pictures or audio liked I'd planned for this blog.

But I have gathered some opinion of how the bands did:

SPARTA
They were great...from what I saw of them. I was late getting into the arena due to my botched equipment sneak-in so I only saw one song. But, they must have played for only fifteen minuets because they were done by 7:20. What the hell? I know they're the opening band but give them some time....geezzz. Sparta is a real underrated band. I hope for great things for 'em (yeah, like they need my hope).

ALICE IN CHAINS
New singer William Duval was dead on. And it didn't feel like he was trying to mimic Layne, it just sounded good. I closed my eyes a couple times and it sounded like I was at a Chains concert in '93 or something. It made me want to bust out my AIC box set. Still, that being said, nobody can replace Staley. The band's performance also confirmed what I already knew: Jerry Cantrell is the heart and soul of AIC. He is actually the one member they could not go on without.

VELVET REVOLVER
They came out to a half-empty Selland Arena that consisted of mostly Alice and Chains fans and put on a good rock show. It was the first show I've been to where there were less people for the headliner then an opening band. Slash, Weiland and the rest of Revolver stuck it out though and gave Fresno a good ROCK show.

I imagine if Axl was there to sing that night, he would have took one look at the half filled arena and told everybody "FUCK OFF! NO SHOW FOR YOU FRESNO!"

Here's something for the fellow AIC geeks out there that weren't at the show. Alice in Chains' set list from the Fresno show:

AGAIN

GRIND

WE DIE YOUNG

THEM BONES

DAMN THAT RIVER

RAIN WHEN I DIE

NUTSHELL

DIRT

ANGRY CHAIR

MAN IN THE BOX

WOULD?

ROOSTER

If you'd like to read some more reviews of the Fresno show, check out the comments on Mike Oz's blog. Or, how about this? Leave us your own review, or just your AIC feelings, as a comment to this blog!

MORE CONCERT REVIEWS:
-My Type of Crowd
-Gynocide
-Ed Stew'
[where: 93704]

Velvet who gives a shit

Dorktown is damn excited to see Alice in Chains tomorrow. We're even excited to see new singer William Duvall. From everything I've heard, he sounds pretty damn good.

However, not excited to see Revolver and Roses. Notice how not many people are giving a shit about them? Everyone is talking about Alice. Too bad Mike Oz interviewed Slash instead of Chains guitarist Cantrell.

Look to this blog Thursday night for a Concert wrap up. Meantime, here's some raw video from a recent AIC set:

Smog City Dorks

Friday night, find a computer, grab a beer and watch as Fresno's own Roller Grrls, Smog City, appear before the Dorktown Podcast's microphones and Webcam, live.

This is a unique online event that shouldn't be missed. You can even join a live chat room and ask the Grrls (or hosts Mikey and Bells) questions of your own. And, if you know host Bells and you know the Roller Girls, the questions should get rude...we hope.

*(Contact mike@dorktown.net with any questions about the show.)

The "Grrls" will be drinkin' with us and talking about this:

Shields 97 Cent Store fire

Video and pictures of the 97 cent store fire that happened Labor Day:

Video of the fire



Picture stream of the: 97 Cent Store Fire

Late night Beyonce action

I'd always wanted to have a blog that just posted crap late at night, with a running timeline. But I immediately realized: Nobody would be there to read it dumbass!

Mike Oz proved Tuesday that a late night nerdy bloggy idea can be done, all with somebody actually reading it. In fact, Mike's running timeline from the Beyonce concert in Fresno was so popular, I'd say its the most commented on, uncontroversial type blog, outside of Lost Fresno, in Fresno blogsphere history.

Maybe I'll try MY late nite blog idea. Guess all I need is some Bee reporter clout, Beyonce aaand talent.

New FresCast to check

Fresno band The Overdubs has started podcasting. This one is all for Overdub fans, and it's a nice and simple idea.

Singer, Ryan Townsend, plays a new Overdubs song, talks about the song and there you go: Overdubs Blogcast.

Fresno bands take note! This is easier to do than you think. Hell, even Dorktown has figured out how, and it's mildly wildly successful.

Train holds Fresno hostage

Don't ya just hate it when ya come up to a train-crossing and the train is stopped. Just stopped, right there, in your path and you don't know what the hell is going on.

Maybe it's waiting for another train, or it's derailed (it happens), maybe a baby has wandered on to the tracks, or Butch and Sundance are robbing it.

Doesn't matter. Now, you've got to ask yourself "Do I just sit and wait? That guy is leaving. Does he know something I don't? But you know if I leave now the train will start moving. Who knows how long this train will be sitting here. AHHHHH ASS!"

Video proof of the train holding Fruit to Sheilds hostage today:

Block that bastard August sun

Fresno has cloud cover in late August? What the fuaaaack? No, it's not just smoke from the Zaca Fire this time. And, there are some crazy rumors going around town that it sprinkled today.

Wish it was going be like this for the Fresno State football opener Saturday. Won't be though. We might be looking at a 104 or so for our tailgating enjoyment. Dorktown will be tailgating for the game Saturday and if we can manage pick up some FS WiFi (doubtful), I'll be bloggin' from the game, live. More to come this week as we build to kickoff of the 2007 season.

Fresno, check out Portland today

Fresno is Portland Oregon's leading importer of hipsters. There seems to be some sort of link going on with these two cities, hipsters or not. Maybe it's just like that with all Westcost cities and Portland lately and Fresno is no different.

Someday soon, Fresno will be the one importing, but not today.

Speaking of today, check out this webcast (live all day and night Saturday) of the Tour de Fat hitting Downtown Portland. What the hell's the Tour de Fat? Check it:

New Belgium Brewing's annual Tour de Fat, a ballyhoo of bikes and beer, with environmental sustainability at the very heart of it all, is headed to Missoula, Montana once again. The cycling circus spins into town on September 1, 2007. The tour will hit 12 cities throughout the summer, while traveling on B100 biodiesel fuel.

Maybe Fresno will be hip and...bicycliee...enough to host this. For now though, you can watch.


*Check the Portland webcast [click the menu in the box on the right of the profile page for choices of watching the webcast.]

Punk Rock Fire

Found some raw footage on YouTube of Wednesday's apartment fire in Fresno, video provided by Punk Rock Taco. Is it me or is "Punk Rock" a little too giddy about somebody's place burning-up?

Simple steps to pack your Fresno show

Waaa waaa waaa, Fresno bands are always bitchin' that it's so tough to get Fresnans to come out and see them play. Those bands don't know Fresno's secrets for geting people to come out:

Be good.
Get your way into a sweet venue.
Always give a good hand job be nice to the club owner.
PROMOTE PROMOTE PROMOTE!
Play for free.

See, soooo easy. The Same Shape did all those things for a recent show at Vini Vidi Vici's. Check out this Dorktown video of what it was like to be at the show...and be too short to see over people:

Dorks over Fresno's airwaves

This may be the biggest mistake of Devoya's Career; Friday night from 7:00 to 8:00 the Dorktown crew [Myself, Bells and Producer Becky] will be on the Move on Up raido show on 88.1 KFCF.

We'll be talkin' fresno, podcasting and what-not/so-forth. Promises to be interesting, please check it out.

-Mikey

Why is a new Red Robin so damn exciting?

I don't know why, it just is. Maybe it's because West Shaw has been quiet ever since River Park came into power and this is a sign of a West Shaw comeback. Maybe it's the decent bar. Maybe it's because it gives you a place to hangout while you wait for a movie at Broadway Fair. Hell, MAYBE it's the TV in the floor - yeah...there's a TV...in the floor - the insanity never stops at Red Robin...and neither does the birthday singing.



And, across the parking lot, there will soon be a eighties sushi place. Will there be rolls that were hip in the eighties or will there be eighties paraphernalia on the walls? Something like David Lee Roth's assless chaps would get me in there.

life
fresno

Midnight tonight, Fresno says "Woo hoo!"

The Simpsons movie begins its Fresno run at midnight tonight, playing in Clovis and West Shaw. But, there's no Edwards midnight showing; borrowing from Nelson, I'd like to say "Ha Ha!" to NE Fresno.

Are you going? Maybe you could ask Ivanka to go with you.



If you want to review The Simpsons for Dorktown, send us an email: mike@dorktown.net or go to our Forum and post a review, or just make a comment to this post.

Ivanka does Fresno

This is your big chance Fresno horndogs: Ivanka is in town. She's gonna need someone something to DO at night while she's here. Why can't you be that something?


[picture is © Theo Wargo, WireImage.com]

Super Lucky Catz open new Fresno music venue?

No, not exactly. This new venue isn't really new or open...but it's a venue. The venue in question, The Pavilion, hosted a live show from the Fresno band Super Lucky Catz that was recorded for the Dorktown Podcast.

I say not open because it's just the patio where Dorktown records our shows (when the weather is good). Last night, the weather was good and so was Super Lucky Catz, even if it was acoustic and with half their band. Check out how good they sounded by listening to Dorktown Episode 48.

PLUS, download this bonus song [Superhuman.mp3] that was performed after the podcast. Rob The Voice just goes OFF towards the end and vamps about everything from Fresno, Trump and the Visalia music festival.

Below is a video clip of SLC on the Dorktown Podcast. There's more if you listen to the podcast - and it sounds better too.

Number one in Fresno many years running

The most famous Fresnan's of all...and maderan's...and Selman's...and...

AIC in the F-R-E-S-N-O

The new singer for Alice in Chains will never replace Layne Staley. But dammit, this new dude, William Duvall, comes as close as it gets. He, and the rest of AIC, are coming to Fresno, September 12th; Best band to come out of the nineties. Dorktown will be there.

Another underrated group, Sparta, will be opening. They sounded great the last time they were in The NO. And there's also a hybrid group - Velvet Revolver - opening up. But ever since they completely fucked up Van Halen's intro into the Hall of Fame (and Halen doesn't need help fucking things up), I can't stand these mother scratchers.

Will you be in line at Selland Saturday, doing it classic-ticket-buying-style, or are you going the online ticket route? Just promise me when you go that you'll flip off Scott Weiland with me.

Deftones post Fresno video

The Deftones YouTube channel just posted a video from their recent show in Fresno. It's very quick clips of the show but it's still a fun watch. A couple of nice shots of the Rainbow Ballroom crowd; Check it here.

PIZZALAND CLOSES....AGAIN

It's hell trying to keep an all-ages venue alive; Fresno's Pizzaland has closed again and this time it may be for good. (I hope the blog I posted yesterday didn't jinx it.)

The closing of Pizzaland wasn't actually due to nerds blogging, it was financial - as always with all-ages venues. The time I was in there, the teens in attendance weren't buying jack from Pizzaland and were actually buying water at Dan's liquor and coming in with it - the same shit Pizzaland was selling. When you have cheap/broke kids as eighty percent of your customers, it's hard to stay open.

Even with all this Joe, the owner, still plans to look for another venue for hosting bands...good luck ya crazy bastard. Thursday night's Capistrano show at Pizzaland got moved to the Brown Building. Don't ask me what the hell it is, I just know its by Pelco and where planes fly around a lot.


*Thanks to Love The Captive for helping with this post!

Pizzaland and Grindcore rawness

(In the past 24 hours Pizzaland has closed their doors...again - more details to follow; so the below post doesn't mean as much now...but read it anyways mmmkaa)

Coming this Thursday night to Fresno's Pizzaland Brown Building , it's the return...return of Morgan Hill's Capistrano - experimental/grindcore/metal at its finest.

Get fired up for their Thursday show at Pizzaland Brown Building by listening to Capistrano members Dylan (guitar/vocals) and JP (bass) being interviewed by Dorktown (again eh); download this file: pizzalandinterview.mp3. There's a special appearance by Turtle from Love The Captive. Also, more experimental metal is hitting (the Brown Building maybe) July 17th with Said The Gun To The Girl.

To those unaware, Pizzaland isn't your typical venue to see a show. It is definitely an ALL ages place. I know that "all ages" translates to mostly teens in a sparse venue, but it's not exclusively teens. You can even get a beer if you're of age. The place can get a bit...um...sweaty; and there really isn't a traditional stage for the band but you can stand right with the boys in the band as they play - that's its charm and part of the experience of seeing up-and-comers trying to entertain.

Pizzaland is raw. But that's what an all ages place should be. Go check out Capistrano Thursday night and feel what I mean.

EXPECT THIS THURSDAY NIGHT, BITCHES:
Capistrano -

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Brown Building

It's fuck or walk for Mick Evans

I hope you've got something up that ass of yours Mick Evans. God, for your safety in any future trips to Fresno, I hope you do.

Do you REALLY think somebody is going to pay you more money than Trump? Do you really think one of your week leads 'groups' are going to be more solid for Fresno and your Running Horse peeps?

I know you're from Manteca, so maybe you don't know, but this Westside adventure isn't going to work, in the end, without a Trump-like developer. Actually, in case you didn't notice, it has already failed once.

Mick, you've got to put Glengary Glen Ross at the top of your Netflix queue. Actually, I'll make it easy for you, just watch this scene. Imagine you are the Ed Harris character and Mr. Trump is Alec Baldwin (Trump dreams he could have Alec's hair). Always Be Closing Mick.

Man, Mick, I really hope you prove me wrong. I hope this blog makes me look like an idiot. I hope you're not in over your head. I hope your mystery group will come in with more money and a great vision. I hope you perform a miracle and convince the PGA to comeback for your mystery guys. I hope you pull off an even bigger miracle and convince the Fresnans, that could afford a place on your course, to move to the Westside.

Mr. Evans, I hope you pull something out of your ass.

Watch this Evans, please:

Transform with Fresno Nerds tonight

Special advance showings of Transformers are all over the Fresno area tonight. I usually like to hit Broadway Fair (less traffic) but Clovis' Criterion has got a grip of showings, so that's where I'm nerding out tonight. (plus I've yet to check this new Clovis theatre out)

Are you gonna be out there tonight with the 80's cartoon geeks, like me?

Fourth of Fresno

Maybe your fireworks stand doesn't need a Caltrans style road sign (like the one above on West Bullard), but it does need customers. Where's your favorite place to buy fireworks in Fresno?

Fresno gives respect to Deftones, not Tim Gardea

The video results are in, Deftones kicked ass in Fresno. Everyone seemed to love the NorCal band's performance at the Rainbow Ballroom last Friday; I did too. What I didn't love was having to wait over an hour to pick-up my tickets at will-call.

After buying tickets at timegardeapresents.com, picking up my tickets at will-call on the evening of the show was the only option given to me (and I bought them the day they went on sale). I could only pick them up a half-hour before the doors opened. Not cool.

I got there an hour before the show's start time and missed half of the opening band. Mind you, I didn't really give a shit about the first act, but that's not the point.

Warning to Fresnans going to a future Tim Gardea Presents show: don't buy your tickets at his website unless excessive line-waiting is how you like to get fired-up for a show.

At least Deftones blew it up, even if the bass sounded like blllaaaaarrr all night. Check out the Deftones going Back to School in Fresno.

Live FresnCam on Dorktown tonight

Hey Dorks, tonight, set your Tivo for "So You Think You Can Dance" so you can go watch us record our podcast tonight, live.

Go to this DorkCam Link at 9:20 Pacific Thursday night and hangout with nerds Bells and Mike as we talk Fresno and whatever. The screen on the player will start showing us in the "Dorktown Studio" in all our dipshitness.

If you want to join the live chat, you can click the magnifying glass to enter, and if you have a webcam, all the freakin' better. See you tonight!

Dork Cam

Move on Up ...to a podcast

Moving on up. That's what Fresno radio show Move On Up has done; Moved up to podcasting - that is enough move puns for one day.

Check out the podcast page for the long-time running KFCF program.

The first show to be made into a podcast is a great one too!

Partick Contreras joins Devoya in the studio to discuss his summer tour, Patrick's Eddie-Van-Halen-on-the-violin sound, spotting a Fresno musician in other cities, getting Fresnans to come out, his involvement with Super Lucky Catz and much more. Plus, mYkalpOwell BEAT DYNASTY lays down the music and Patrick plays live!

Listen to it by clicking here: Patrick Moves On UP [if you follow that link, you have many ways to download the show, including iTunes].
Or download it directly here: PatrickContrerasMOUP.mp3

And don't forget to go hang with the Move On Up family:

Fresno. Friday. Pizzaland. You. Capistrano.

Do you fall under the category of all age? SWEET! Then go check this Metal-Grind-BadassCore band: CAPISTRANO at Pizzaland Friday.

PLAY 'EM:
Capistrano - Can I Help You Find Something?

Add to My Profile | More Videos

LIVE DORKNESS THIS SATURDAY NIGHT

We are making Fresno podcasting history this Saturday night. The first ever podcast in Central California to go live in streaming audio and choppy-ass webcam video.

The podcast of which I speak is Dorktown - who else would do such a geeky event? And here is where you can come in.

Go to Stickam.com and sign up for an account. Then befriend Dorktown on Stickam. Now just show up online at 10:00 Pacific Saturday and hangout with nerds Bells and Mike as we talk Fresno and whatever.

You actually don't need a Stickam account to just listen and watch. Go to the Dorkcam page at ten and observe in anonymity.

Feel free to email me with any questions or topics. See ya Saturday night!

Check it out!

A Fresno and Wiffleball first, this Sunday

Has there ever been a live broadcast of a wifflball game in the history of wiff? Well, Sunday may be the first. Check out the video below straight from that Commish Nerd for what it will look like Sunday as the Fresno Wiffleball League streams games live.

Here is one of the places you'll be able to watch: Video Page



Video Page

Fresno sucks creatively speaking ... or does it?

When Judging cities creative workforces, out of 167 metro areas, Fresno ranks 122nd. This stat is from a study by Kiplinger's Personal Finance magazine - the sexiest magazine in all of personal finance.

So, yeah. Open up the floodgates, here come the Fresno bashers.

Before you begin your assault, haters, think about this: this is good news for us creative types on the Valley Floor. Less competition. I mean, have you SEEN the local commercials around here?

Think about the Bay Area's creative workforce (ranking high), there's a million people there that are,or think they are, talented; who wants to deal with that shit? Give me a small pond with a shallow talent pool over a big overstocked pond, any day.

Working creatively in a Valley City means there's more opportunity to make a big impact. In "THE City" there's more opportunity to be white noise.

Only one sollution to 'parking' problem

Fresno's Woodward and Roeding Parks overflow with cars on holiday weekends. An idea is floating around to allow only Fresnans into the parks on busy weekends. Or, the city suggests to just suck-it-up and get there before dawn to get a parking space.

Hey, how about this one guys: BUILD. MORE. FUCKING. PARKS.

Sammy is a Business Genius

When Sammy Hagar said he's having one of his Cabo Wabo's built in Fresno, you might have thought to yourself, "What the hell are you thinking Sam? In FRESNO? Do you even know what you're doing? Maybe you have a head for rock but not for business." Well, I'd put $80,000,000 saying Sammy knows what he's doing.

Skyy Spirits has announced they will join nappy-headed-tequila-maker Sammy Hagar in expanding his Cabo Wabo tequila line of Reposado, Anejo, Blanco, and new ultra luxury (mmmmmmm uuultra luxurry) Cabo Uno. The price Skyy is paying for 'taking shots' [80% interest in Cabo' tequila] with Sam...80 MILLION ... that's not a typo ... eighty mil' dude.

Maybe Sammy's been taking some Wharton Business School online courses in his spare time.

Remove children and Sam Raimi from Spiderman

Before I get to a brief Spidey 3 review - we couldn't call ourselves Dorktown if we didn't review "3" - I have a demand: Don't bring your children to a late showing of a movie ... EVER!

So, we go to Broadway Faire for my first screening of Spiderman. We Pick a 10:45 PM showing because Broadway is always the least busiest of the Fresno area theaters and there shouldn't be any children to deal with at 10:45 ... Right?

WRONG!

We're inside, sitting in the next to last row, trailers are about to start, even with the theatre seventy percent full, I'm feeling confident that nobody is going to sit behind us. Then, in walks a mom with six, count 'em, six kids ranging from two to eight. I don't know if they're all hers, doesn't really matter, I just know that they're sure to be sitting behind us...and they do.

Ya just want to stand up and say "Lady, how the HELL do you think it's at all a good idea to bring a shit-load of kids to a two-hour plus movie late at night, you thoughtless asshole!" It's borderline child abuse.

Of course, throughout the movie, there was all the classics: seat kicking, crying, random question asking, whining, sneezing and coughing - all the glares and comments in the world did nothing to stop this.

There needs to be a theatre that steps up and doesn't allow children inside after ten. Is that really so much to ask?

Now back to the quick Spiderman review:
Spidey 3 director Sam Raimi has managed to derail the Spiderman franchise. How does a person whom supposedly knows Spiderman and movie making inside and out, do that? I really didn't think this franchise would wander down the Batman sequels path, but it did. Too many villains with not enough story, that's the big problem with "3".

But maybe worse than that, the little things: Countless worthless crowd reactions. Cheesy news reports that reported WHAT WE WERE ALREADY SEEING! Terrible montages. Several slow sections that could have been replaced with something meaningful or just cut. Complete miss-use of the Venom character and what it does to Spiderman. Really Raimi? That's all you could get from the Venom character? Fucking VENOM?

I admit, my sour review of Spiderman was influenced by what I went through in the back of the Broadway Faire theatre. Spiderman is still a decent flick. Any movie that features Spiderman is worth watching; regardless of how many kids sit behind you.

Sammy Says Fresyes

It's all official and stuff: Sammy Hagar is Fresno's newest businessman. Read all about it on Mike Oz' Blog.

Fresno's Rasputins is open...sorta

Haphazard. That's how I would desribe Fresno's Tower Records replacement, Rasputins, currently. Instead of waiting to open Rasputins until the changeover from a Tower is complete, they just said "Fuck it!" and opened during the change.

The store still needs a lot of work but the used section is already filling out and is very popular. The sound of people fliping through plastic CD cases is almost defeaning.

Here's what a rock dork got for his first purchase:

Insert Turd Joke Here

FOUND: Big friggin' clump-of-tree-trunk. TIME AND LOCATION: Thursday in the parking lot behind the Tower Theatre.



To claim this dirt and root mass as yours, please come to the parking lot and describe it to nobody.

Rademacher Storm in Fresno Makes Billboard

Fresno band Rademacher got some love in Billboard. That may be a Fresno band first.

Also another first, the first decent storm we've had this month rolled through town recently and Dorktown felt the need to cover it. Hey, we get really excited when something other than glorious sunshine happens here.

Check out the video of a nerd filming rain as he goes to pick-up Mexican food during the storm. It's all set to the music of Rademacher; Yeah, you were wondering how the hell that storm tied into the Rademacher article weren't ya!? No? Well watch it anyway:



Rademacher Storm

Ladies, beer, meat, tailgating and you

You've got one kick-ass "Fresno weekend" planned don't ya? Your backyard, a case of Sierra Nevada, a barbecue, some Santa Maria tri-tip and an obnoxiously loud radio complete with Ranchera music.

Sounds pretty damn good to me - except I might not choose Ranchera music.

One thing you may want to change; take all of that out of your backyard and transfer it over to the Save Mart Center parking lot to do some tailgating before the Women's NCAA DI Basketball Championship Fresno Regional - happening this weekend.

ESPN will be in Fresno broadcasting all the games, so maybe your drunk-and-shirtless-ass will get on national television.

This event needs Fresno-ass in the seats so we can look good on national television and to the NCAA. If Fresno does a good enough job hosting, we could see a men's regional here sometime in the future - or at least have the women's come back.

The winner this weekend moves on to the Final Four. The loser moves on to the after hours party in your backyard. Really though, that's a win win for everyone.\

Not enough Fresnans know how to text

Fresno, you can stop giving a shit about the Mexican idol show "Objetivo Fama" because the Fresno representative was bounced out due to not enough text votes. This is a statement from her Myspace page:

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED AND VOTED FOR MARISSA SHE DID NOT GET SAVED AGAIN AND SHE WILL BE COMING HOME ON TUES. MARCH 13TH...JUST WANT TO TELL U ALL THANK U AGAIN WE APPRECIATED ALL UR HELP AND SHE HAS LOTS TO LOOK FORWARD TO FOR HER FUTURE!!! SHE IS NEVER GONNA GIVE UP!!!!

It's all your fault, you lazy Verizon texters. Now go to Cuca's [Meza's family restaurant in Fresno] and order the most expensive thing on the menu then text 666 to HELL because that's where you're going.

*Check out what you no longer will be hearing on the show: Marissa y Jorge

fresno

Cuca the vote Fresno

Hey you! Yea you, Fresnan with Verizon Wireless. Bust out your phone and text 3262 THEN "2" TILL FRI!

"What the hell am I texting?" you ask. Don't worry about, just do it DAMMIT!

Actually, you will be voting to keep Fresno's own Marissa Meza singing on Univision's "Objetivo Fama" (it's the Mexican American Idol).

Come on guys, she used to bring you your enchilada combo at Cuca's, the least you could do is send a text for her.

Check her out for yourself by playing the clip below - she's the one that starts on the left:

(link to video)

Fresno's top skater is?

I suck at skateboarding. My goofyfooted-ass couldn't do an Ollie if there was a case of Bass on the line. So that would make me Fresno's worst skateboarder. But who's the best?

A quick tour of Youtube might tell you Fresno's top dude is Preston Joy. Check out Preston in action around Fresno:
-Preston at Hoover
-Preston at Lions
-Frontside flip Preston

Is there somebody in Fresno better? Well who the hell is it?

Maybe it's somebody from 37cents Skate Team. Check out a montage video of them, complete with a couple quick shots of the torn-out Vagabond Pool.

Shooting tests Fresno media's focus

You can already see what’s going to happen after this DUI stop in Fresno that turned into a shooting. The local media is going to be lazy and just link it with the Tower District and the Mardi Gras celebration, when it actually had little or nothing to do with it.

People are going to get scared and say “Well, if that’s what happens in the Tower District then I’m not going.” That kind of thinking would be wrong. This can happen anywhere in town and probably WILL, eventually.

At least Donald Munro and Mike Oz' ,columnists at the Bee, are thinking clearly. Let’s hope that the rest of Fresno’s media and people will too.

Van Halen demanded to stay away from Fresno

What a bunch of ASSHEADS...Van Halen that is. Before, in this very post, I was demanding to see this version of Van Halen come back to Fresno.

Well I can demand all I want but all I might get is Sammy coming to a Fresno Wabo opening.

Why only that? Because this stupid shit just happened. Assheads man.

What the hell's a Podcast-a-thon?

TONIGHT TONIGHT TONIGHT, beginning at 10:00 Pacific...IT'S THE DORKTOWN POD-A-THON! Download this to find out more:
podathoncommercial.mp3
Or use this player:
powered by ODEO

Basically, what we need from the listeners is this: find a way to contact us during the show on Saturday night. We will keep taping the podcast until we're "contacted" seven times during the show. Here are the ways to contact us during taping.

--Come to the Dorktown Forum and post a reply in the OFFICIAL PODCAST-A-THON 2007 THREAD. If you don't have an account yet, just take a minute and sign up. We will post the thread around 9:00 Pacific time and you can start replying to it then. If ya get home late from drinking, you can still get in there and post, we may still be going.

--Call us during the show (after 10:00 on Saturday Feb 10th) at 559-224-2483 and you'll get yourself on the show and qualify as contacting us. If it's busy try again. If you get the answering machine that means the show is over and we actually got seven "contacts." Again, don't be afraid to call later, we may still be going.

--Email us during the show. Starting at nine, if you email mike@dorktown.net or bells@dorktown.net. That counts and we thank you.

--Buy "You've Got The Ass." Yes, Chewbacca and the Rhythm Wookies have a song to download on the Podsafe Music Network. Follow this link: Wookie and if you look below you will be able to see where you can buy the song to download. Have fun with that one, it's the worst song off all-Fresno time.

If you are the 7th "Contacter..err..er", you'll when a free t-shirt (once we make some one day).

Check the Dorktown Forum for the fuckin' latest. Don't worry if you come in at like 11:12. There's a good chance we will still be taping and will need your help!

This Saturday night, we NEED IT.

City Council is cutting off...Fresno

Is Fresno’s government only good for having improperly timed traffic lights installed and approving more park-free developments? As far as the City Council thinks, that’s all they’re there for. Since when did we elect a Libertarian government?

Not only does the City Council not want to deal with Fresno's upcoming lack of a public ice-rink, they’ve grown bored of helping Playland and Storyland stay afloat. In the words of classic Fresno conservative and City Council Member Jerry Duncan “In this day and age, you better have your act together or you’re going to struggle.”

So listen up all non-money making things in Fresno. The “day and age” of dicking around with the city’s money is over. Duncan and the rest of Fresno’s City Council are watching you and you better get your shit together.

Things like parks, ice-rinks and Storyland. Does Fresno need such frivolous undertakings? We’ve got a Cheesecake Factory and the electronic-billboard-having intersection of Blackstone and Shaw to keep up our quality of life. Parks equal to no money in the city’s pocket so get rid of them.

Yea, you know what, this is sounding good, those Libertarians are right. Fuck it all. Let’s fill in the Underground Gardens with cement and let somebody build a Loan Mart. Let Downtown’s Water Tower crumble to the ground and just leave it. And what kind of revenue has Woodward Park been bringing in lately? Stupid lazy grass and trees. Give that land to the Zinkin or Bonadelle family so they can build some more houses and Starbucks.

What about the fuckin’ libraries Fresno has all over town? City libraries with their loan-books-out-for-free-policies; where’s the money in that? Fresnans should just go stand in the isle of Barnes & Noble if they want to read something for free. Get your shit together libraries, you’re on your own now.

Oh, and costly road signs, not necessary. I don’t need some arrogant prick sign telling me where I’m at! I know I’m at Bullard and West you stupid sign. Fuck off.

Wait, let’s not forget the Fresno City Council. They've been sucking the city dry with their paychecks. Let’s just get rid of their no-revenue-making-asses and keep helping pay for Storyland/Playland to stay open.

Bee gets it right, the city of Fresno won't

The Fresno Bee chimed in with their opinion on the Gateway Ice Center likely closing.

The Bee believes it is a bad deal for the city and they should look for an alternative. I tend to agree. But the problem is, the Bee is relying on the City of Fresno to come up with a better alternative.

Yes they should come up with another alternative - I really like the idea to put a rink in Manchester Center - but that relies on the city to actually do it. I don't think they will.

Fresno's track record for parks and recreation is terrible. Probably the worst in the nation. Developers have been telling Fresno what to do for years and still are - developers don't make money by building parks.

So the chances of the city to find an alternative ice rink for Fresno is pretty unlikely. I'm afraid once Gateway closes, so does Fresno's place to skate.

Bullard has circle jerks, CW has cheats

I didn’t think the whole Clovis West SAT scandal had any legs to it. I was surprised to see it on the front page of the Bee. In the sports section? Yes, I get that, since they were kids on the soccer team. But that’s it, why would it go further?

Like most times, my dumbass is wrong.

Besides The Bee’s coverage, newscasts led with the story, Fresno’s top blogger - Jarah - has written about it, and Fresno Radio King – Ray Appleton - spent his whole two hours jawin' about it, Friday.

To me, the reason this scandal gets the play that it does is because the students are from Clovis West High School.

CW is considered Fresno’s premier High School. It's where Bullard, Hoover and Fresno High area sellouts bring their kids. Where scared whitey parents think their children will get into less trouble so they’ll have to do less parenting.

I always just assumed cheating on SAT tests wasn’t all that rare. I wouldn’t have thought anybody outside of the family and school would even know about it. I’m sure Clovis West and the family’s involved wish I was actually right this time.

Historic, Dorkish and Famous

I had been looking forward to Podcast 38 for quite some time. Even before Jarah sold Fresno Famous, we had been planing to have her on our podcast. Unfortunately, some sound and length problems prevented it from being perfect, but it still turned out to be as fun as I'd hoped.

Jarah and Josh were just plain entertaining and some provocative stuff came from the interview.

When Jarah was asked if she was surprised at the amount of backlash selling FresnoFamous caused, Jarah replied "Yes. I didn't think that anyone would give a shit. I didn't think that anyone would notice."

Josh - who's taking over for Jarah as the website's head blogger - proved he is ready for the challenge and talked about the distance he will have from the Fresno Bee, "I don't work in the newsroom, I don't work on the paper. We are separate from the news[room]...I'm not going to ever talk to the executive editor of the Bee, we're doing things a little differently. We're not going to be doing what the Fresno Bee is doing, we're not going to be doing what we did with Get Out."

But what trumps all of that is Jarah throwing down some "Wham Rap" with Bells - part two of #38. I think Bells would have married her right on the spot if he wasn't already spoken for.

I hate pimping something I've already posted but this show is dedicated to Famous Users and I really want to make sure everybody gets a chance to listen to the podcast. If you have iTunes you should be taken to the Dorktown iTunes page by clicking iTunes.

Thanks to everybody for listening to our dopey-ass show and special thanks to Jarah and Josh for coming in and being so open.

-Mike

Owning a Downtown Fresno Bar is Scary

It's lookin' like Downtown Fresno bar Fagans is closing. Go check out Mike Oz's blog at the Fresno Beehive for the details.

You'll find an open letter by the owner of Fagan's explaining what has gone wrong. It will scare the shit out of you if you're thinking of opening up a Fresno resturant. Check out some of what she says:

"I never imagined how much theft goes on (like bartenders who gave away free drinks,for better tips) (waitress's who thought money should go into their pockets ,rather than the cash drawer) (Customers who skipped out on paying)

I never imagined the volume of people who think because I am downtown, I should gives away everything for free or next to free. How many people tried to bring in their own food and beverage.or come in, just for Free water with Lemons ,Cherries and Straws (like we could pay the PGE on that) How bazaar !

Downtown Workers who felt food items should be under $5. and then try and split a $5.00 meal.(asking for extra bread ) Because they felt because it's downtown ,it should be cheaper !"

Bee 'Edits' Dorktown

Famous being purchased by the Fresno Bee has been blogged about as far away as Massachusetts and as close as Bakersfield. But not one editorial letter in the Opinion section of the Bee.

I decided to change that by sending a letter to the Bee myself. Bee Editors apparently didn't find it worthy because they aren't publishing it. I've even sent in a couple different versions, still nothing. Maybe the writing just sucks - I admit it isn't great. Or, maybe they don't like the content of it.

Either way, since they aren't publishing it, I will:

So, McClatchy’s Fresno Bee has bought FresnoFamous.com. To borrow from the Bee, I would like to say ‘Thumbs Up’ to the Bee for putting their ego aside and saying “If you can’t beat ‘em, assimilate ‘em.”

It will be interesting to see if the Bee can keep to their promise of not meddling with the site and letting the Fresno Famous users dictate the bulk of the content and style. I know the Famous users will keep a watchful eye.

Yes, not all letters make it into the Bee, but I always find the ones about local issues more interesting , rather than what somebody from Clovis thinks of Iraq.

THANKS DORKTOWNERS

Dorktown would just like to take this opportunity to thank all of you that read this blog and listen to the podcast. Also, have a killer holiday season.

If there is something you would like to see in the coming year from this blog or the DORKTOWN PODCAST, or just something you’d like to say about it, please email EMAIL ME.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS VALLEY FLOOR!
-MIKE

Bee is Famous, Fresno

The rumors are true, Fresno Famous, the hippest little local site EVER, has been assimilated by the Borg - also known as the Fresno Bee.

Valley Floor rumors of the mighty McClatchy Company purchasing Dorktown are highly...alright, there aren't any rumors. But when the Fresno Bee was not reached for comment, they said all Fresno Dorks should now stay away from F'Famous and go fuck themselves.

Federline out to sea

I'm sure you missed the American Music Awards this week - it's okay, so did everybody else. And since you missed it, you missed a good bit using Kevin Fresnoline as fodder.

At least they didn't remind everyone that Kevin's from Fresno by dumping him off at the city limits

Drunk Holiday Viewing

Plan on driving drunk this holiday season? Well, before you do that, you should watch the NBC Nightly News story about the Fresno Police's DUI Stings It will be airing tonight during the 5:30 broadcast on KSEE 24. Check and see if you were broadcast to the country driving drunk down Palm, last weekend.

Also see Police Chief Jerry prove to the nation that Fresno has the shiniest heads and best cop mustaches in all of the country.