AWARDS FOR EVERYONE
by JK

Here are some awards I'll give to the people who kick ass, and by people I don't just mean people, but food and games.

BEST BREAD: Dominoe's Cheesy Bread. YEAH! That shit rocks! Ooey and gooey and...mmmm....

BEST BAND FROM CALIFORNIA: Until I find another band from CA, it's Oingo Boingo. Danny Elfman is not only an elf, but GOD.

BEST WIFFLE TRASH TALK: HRL Twin Cities. Not accessible to the public, but some good stuff is said in there. Runner up is Bells.

BEST iTUNES: iTunes!

BEST ICECREAM: Not Ben, nor Jerry. It's Sheratin's! Technically, it's not even ice cream shop, but it is delicious. I doubt you Californish/Californians have heard of it (hell, I think the only one is down the road from me). There oreo and marshmallow stuff kicks ass.

BEST SPORTS GAMES: Hockey is 2k6, baseball is MLB 2006, and football is Madden 06. See, I support each company! 989, EA, Sega, it's all güd!

BEST WIFFLEBALL TEAM IN THE NATION: Who gives a shit?

That's it for now. Send me some award ideas at jk@wiffleatl.com  

- PEATH OUT!

This is EXACTLY why you should hate the Yankees and ESPN

BY JK

   Ok, so I get home from seeing Batman Begins at the local AMC (and I say it's a great movie; lots of ass kicking), and I come home to find my beloved Pirates lost to the friggin' Yankees, 5-7 in 10 innings. Of course, I just say, "Ah, we were close, we'll get em tomorrow and then sweep the Sox." just like I always do.

Next thing I do is check out the Pirates message board for the reaction, because it lets me figure out what happened. I see talk about how the friggin' Yankees cheated and such, and I'm thinking, "Bah, they're just sad, like all the other people who were sad yesterday when the Buccos lost to the friggin' Yankees."

THEN, I watch Baseball Tonight to find out that in the bottom of the 9th, Pirates are winning, 1 out, and Gary Sheffield grounds a ball up the middle, which our old-man closer Jose Mesa gets a piece of. Our always-dependable SS Jack Wilson flings it to 2nd baseman Jose Castillo for the force at 2nd, who then throws it to our big ole' first sacker, Daryle Ward. Then I noticed something: SHEFFIELD WAS OUT BY A STEP and he was called SAFE?! A clear call that was "missed" by the umpires. Of course, then the friggin' Yankees tie it up on a Joge Posada double later and win on a Juicy Giambi homer, but that's beside the point. The game was OVER before it should have even gotten to Posada.

Of course, the Baseball Tonight guys just say it as an after note. Blah blah, whatever. The problem with it all is that umpires (who are paid off by the Yankees or something to "miss" these calls), ESPN, and MLB all have their heads so far up their asses and kissing the inner bowels of the big-market teams that they don't care whether or not a smaller market team loses on a blatantly missed call. It just shocks me that not only did the ump call Sheffield safe, but that no one will do anything about it (most likely). These people need to get their heads checked, which will only happen when they get enough Ex-lax (Proven by 51 psychologists: It works! (...what?)) to squirt their pea-sized heads out of their even smaller anus.

I did have a couple of warm feelings in my heart though: 1. Jason Bay hit a homer to make it 5-2, which was promptly followed by a very silent Yankee Stadium, and 2. Alex Rodriguez dismissed his 3rd base ump and started running for home, which then our catcher took the ball and tagged him out at the plate, standing up. Funny thing it, A-Hole went in, elbows up and charging (which is even illegal in hockey for christs-sake!) and he couldn't even knock him down. Ahhh.
-

Thanks,
JK

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