June in the Valley means...

It's that time of the month for Fresno. A month when Fresno has one bug to rule them all.

A Fresno and Wiffleball first, this Sunday

Has there ever been a live broadcast of a wifflball game in the history of wiff? Well, Sunday may be the first. Check out the video below straight from that Commish Nerd for what it will look like Sunday as the Fresno Wiffleball League streams games live.

Here is one of the places you'll be able to watch: Video Page



Video Page

Fresno sucks creatively speaking ... or does it?

When Judging cities creative workforces, out of 167 metro areas, Fresno ranks 122nd. This stat is from a study by Kiplinger's Personal Finance magazine - the sexiest magazine in all of personal finance.

So, yeah. Open up the floodgates, here come the Fresno bashers.

Before you begin your assault, haters, think about this: this is good news for us creative types on the Valley Floor. Less competition. I mean, have you SEEN the local commercials around here?

Think about the Bay Area's creative workforce (ranking high), there's a million people there that are,or think they are, talented; who wants to deal with that shit? Give me a small pond with a shallow talent pool over a big overstocked pond, any day.

Working creatively in a Valley City means there's more opportunity to make a big impact. In "THE City" there's more opportunity to be white noise.

Drunk in Dorktown

A dork's "Two Worded Review" of the 2007 version of Sudz in the City:
CROWDED MASSES
AMPLE CLEAVAGE
OVER PRICED
PERFECT WEATHER
DOWNTOWN SKYLINE
EMPTY GLASS
BAR BANDS
DRY KEGS
MEXICAN FOOD
GOOD TIMES

Check out the video of the crowds:


Sudz Video

Only one sollution to 'parking' problem

Fresno's Woodward and Roeding Parks overflow with cars on holiday weekends. An idea is floating around to allow only Fresnans into the parks on busy weekends. Or, the city suggests to just suck-it-up and get there before dawn to get a parking space.

Hey, how about this one guys: BUILD. MORE. FUCKING. PARKS.

Futlon Mall Skate Park

Fresno's Fulton Mall is dead at night ... right? Well, yeah it is. You know it's dead when dudes can do this without a security guard tellin' them to beat it.



Fulton Skate Park

Dorktown's Fresno weekend

Sunday may be all about this dork's mom, but no moms will be around Friday and Saturday motherfuckers ... eewww, maybe I shouldn't use motherfucker during Mothers Day Weekend.

Friday night, we plan to be at the Starline to see Capistrano and find out what this "gridcore" scene is all about

**UPDATE: CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO CLIP I MADE LAST NIGHT FROM CAPISRANO'S SET:Capistrano video

Then, Saturday, it's off to "The Chuck" to get mildly buzzed at Sudz (it's hard to get drunk when you wait in long lines to get only 10 shots of beer).

And Sunday? Well duuuuhh, it's all about moms.

Whatcha doin' this weekend?



Capistrano video

Sammy is a Business Genius

When Sammy Hagar said he's having one of his Cabo Wabo's built in Fresno, you might have thought to yourself, "What the hell are you thinking Sam? In FRESNO? Do you even know what you're doing? Maybe you have a head for rock but not for business." Well, I'd put $80,000,000 saying Sammy knows what he's doing.

Skyy Spirits has announced they will join nappy-headed-tequila-maker Sammy Hagar in expanding his Cabo Wabo tequila line of Reposado, Anejo, Blanco, and new ultra luxury (mmmmmmm uuultra luxurry) Cabo Uno. The price Skyy is paying for 'taking shots' [80% interest in Cabo' tequila] with Sam...80 MILLION ... that's not a typo ... eighty mil' dude.

Maybe Sammy's been taking some Wharton Business School online courses in his spare time.

Remove children and Sam Raimi from Spiderman

Before I get to a brief Spidey 3 review - we couldn't call ourselves Dorktown if we didn't review "3" - I have a demand: Don't bring your children to a late showing of a movie ... EVER!

So, we go to Broadway Faire for my first screening of Spiderman. We Pick a 10:45 PM showing because Broadway is always the least busiest of the Fresno area theaters and there shouldn't be any children to deal with at 10:45 ... Right?

WRONG!

We're inside, sitting in the next to last row, trailers are about to start, even with the theatre seventy percent full, I'm feeling confident that nobody is going to sit behind us. Then, in walks a mom with six, count 'em, six kids ranging from two to eight. I don't know if they're all hers, doesn't really matter, I just know that they're sure to be sitting behind us...and they do.

Ya just want to stand up and say "Lady, how the HELL do you think it's at all a good idea to bring a shit-load of kids to a two-hour plus movie late at night, you thoughtless asshole!" It's borderline child abuse.

Of course, throughout the movie, there was all the classics: seat kicking, crying, random question asking, whining, sneezing and coughing - all the glares and comments in the world did nothing to stop this.

There needs to be a theatre that steps up and doesn't allow children inside after ten. Is that really so much to ask?

Now back to the quick Spiderman review:
Spidey 3 director Sam Raimi has managed to derail the Spiderman franchise. How does a person whom supposedly knows Spiderman and movie making inside and out, do that? I really didn't think this franchise would wander down the Batman sequels path, but it did. Too many villains with not enough story, that's the big problem with "3".

But maybe worse than that, the little things: Countless worthless crowd reactions. Cheesy news reports that reported WHAT WE WERE ALREADY SEEING! Terrible montages. Several slow sections that could have been replaced with something meaningful or just cut. Complete miss-use of the Venom character and what it does to Spiderman. Really Raimi? That's all you could get from the Venom character? Fucking VENOM?

I admit, my sour review of Spiderman was influenced by what I went through in the back of the Broadway Faire theatre. Spiderman is still a decent flick. Any movie that features Spiderman is worth watching; regardless of how many kids sit behind you.