Fresno's top skater is?

I suck at skateboarding. My goofyfooted-ass couldn't do an Ollie if there was a case of Bass on the line. So that would make me Fresno's worst skateboarder. But who's the best?

A quick tour of Youtube might tell you Fresno's top dude is Preston Joy. Check out Preston in action around Fresno:
-Preston at Hoover
-Preston at Lions
-Frontside flip Preston

Is there somebody in Fresno better? Well who the hell is it?

Maybe it's somebody from 37cents Skate Team. Check out a montage video of them, complete with a couple quick shots of the torn-out Vagabond Pool.

Soon to be forgotten dork

Dorktown got a second letter in The Bee this past Sunday. It was a cleaned up version of a prior blog I posted about the Fresno City Council not getting involved in things like they should. The Fresno Bee approved version can be read by clicking here.

I kinda wish I could take it back though. There's a section in the first paragraph (the whole last sentence, complete with dash) that is just bad writing. If I would have sat on the letter a while longer, I would have noticed it. Unfortunately I just sent it to the Bee after one proofread.

Once is never enough when proofreading.

Now that bad sentence is in print forever. Lucky, it's mostly just old farts that read the editorial page anyway and it will soon be forgotten. Just like the council will forget about Storyland, Playland, Gateway Ice Center and nerds that write to the Fresno Bee.

Shooting tests Fresno media's focus

You can already see what’s going to happen after this DUI stop in Fresno that turned into a shooting. The local media is going to be lazy and just link it with the Tower District and the Mardi Gras celebration, when it actually had little or nothing to do with it.

People are going to get scared and say “Well, if that’s what happens in the Tower District then I’m not going.” That kind of thinking would be wrong. This can happen anywhere in town and probably WILL, eventually.

At least Donald Munro and Mike Oz' ,columnists at the Bee, are thinking clearly. Let’s hope that the rest of Fresno’s media and people will too.

Van Halen demanded to stay away from Fresno

What a bunch of ASSHEADS...Van Halen that is. Before, in this very post, I was demanding to see this version of Van Halen come back to Fresno.

Well I can demand all I want but all I might get is Sammy coming to a Fresno Wabo opening.

Why only that? Because this stupid shit just happened. Assheads man.

What the hell's a Podcast-a-thon?

TONIGHT TONIGHT TONIGHT, beginning at 10:00 Pacific...IT'S THE DORKTOWN POD-A-THON! Download this to find out more:
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Basically, what we need from the listeners is this: find a way to contact us during the show on Saturday night. We will keep taping the podcast until we're "contacted" seven times during the show. Here are the ways to contact us during taping.

--Come to the Dorktown Forum and post a reply in the OFFICIAL PODCAST-A-THON 2007 THREAD. If you don't have an account yet, just take a minute and sign up. We will post the thread around 9:00 Pacific time and you can start replying to it then. If ya get home late from drinking, you can still get in there and post, we may still be going.

--Call us during the show (after 10:00 on Saturday Feb 10th) at 559-224-2483 and you'll get yourself on the show and qualify as contacting us. If it's busy try again. If you get the answering machine that means the show is over and we actually got seven "contacts." Again, don't be afraid to call later, we may still be going.

--Email us during the show. Starting at nine, if you email mike@dorktown.net or bells@dorktown.net. That counts and we thank you.

--Buy "You've Got The Ass." Yes, Chewbacca and the Rhythm Wookies have a song to download on the Podsafe Music Network. Follow this link: Wookie and if you look below you will be able to see where you can buy the song to download. Have fun with that one, it's the worst song off all-Fresno time.

If you are the 7th "Contacter..err..er", you'll when a free t-shirt (once we make some one day).

Check the Dorktown Forum for the fuckin' latest. Don't worry if you come in at like 11:12. There's a good chance we will still be taping and will need your help!

This Saturday night, we NEED IT.

Bee-ing watched

You may have noticed this blog tends to watchdog what the Fresno Bee is doing. More times than not, I'm praising something the Bee has written about; this is again one of those times. I know, fuckin' boring eh?

There was a great editorial today about the valley's diminishing farmland and how nobody seems to care enough to do anything about it: Vanishing Farmland.

Also, Matt James, probably the Bee's best columnist, wrote a great piece about the Fresno Falcons and how they might have to move if there's no Fresno ice to practice on. Basically saying, if nobody does anything about this lack of ice problem, problem solved: Matt James story.

City Council is cutting off...Fresno

Is Fresno’s government only good for having improperly timed traffic lights installed and approving more park-free developments? As far as the City Council thinks, that’s all they’re there for. Since when did we elect a Libertarian government?

Not only does the City Council not want to deal with Fresno's upcoming lack of a public ice-rink, they’ve grown bored of helping Playland and Storyland stay afloat. In the words of classic Fresno conservative and City Council Member Jerry Duncan “In this day and age, you better have your act together or you’re going to struggle.”

So listen up all non-money making things in Fresno. The “day and age” of dicking around with the city’s money is over. Duncan and the rest of Fresno’s City Council are watching you and you better get your shit together.

Things like parks, ice-rinks and Storyland. Does Fresno need such frivolous undertakings? We’ve got a Cheesecake Factory and the electronic-billboard-having intersection of Blackstone and Shaw to keep up our quality of life. Parks equal to no money in the city’s pocket so get rid of them.

Yea, you know what, this is sounding good, those Libertarians are right. Fuck it all. Let’s fill in the Underground Gardens with cement and let somebody build a Loan Mart. Let Downtown’s Water Tower crumble to the ground and just leave it. And what kind of revenue has Woodward Park been bringing in lately? Stupid lazy grass and trees. Give that land to the Zinkin or Bonadelle family so they can build some more houses and Starbucks.

What about the fuckin’ libraries Fresno has all over town? City libraries with their loan-books-out-for-free-policies; where’s the money in that? Fresnans should just go stand in the isle of Barnes & Noble if they want to read something for free. Get your shit together libraries, you’re on your own now.

Oh, and costly road signs, not necessary. I don’t need some arrogant prick sign telling me where I’m at! I know I’m at Bullard and West you stupid sign. Fuck off.

Wait, let’s not forget the Fresno City Council. They've been sucking the city dry with their paychecks. Let’s just get rid of their no-revenue-making-asses and keep helping pay for Storyland/Playland to stay open.

Bakersfield Famous

Nick Belardes
(Photo of NL from nlbelardes.com)

A printed version of Fresno Famous? Why not? Get Out was axed by the Bee so there's a hole to fill.

I didn't come up with that idea, a Mr. Nick Belardes (Bakersfield's top blogger) came up with that one. And that's not the only thing Nick talks about in his latest blog entry.

He covers the Modesto Famous controversy, Fresno Famous selling to the Fresno Bee, Jarah and Josh appearing on the Dorktown Podcast (sorry, shity self promote there) and the Marilyn being painted over.

I especially like the part where NL notices that Lucky Bail Bonds has a better store front than the Fresno Arts Council. All Fresno Famous readers and Downtown folks should check it out.

Bee gets it right, the city of Fresno won't

The Fresno Bee chimed in with their opinion on the Gateway Ice Center likely closing.

The Bee believes it is a bad deal for the city and they should look for an alternative. I tend to agree. But the problem is, the Bee is relying on the City of Fresno to come up with a better alternative.

Yes they should come up with another alternative - I really like the idea to put a rink in Manchester Center - but that relies on the city to actually do it. I don't think they will.

Fresno's track record for parks and recreation is terrible. Probably the worst in the nation. Developers have been telling Fresno what to do for years and still are - developers don't make money by building parks.

So the chances of the city to find an alternative ice rink for Fresno is pretty unlikely. I'm afraid once Gateway closes, so does Fresno's place to skate.

Bullard has circle jerks, CW has cheats

I didn’t think the whole Clovis West SAT scandal had any legs to it. I was surprised to see it on the front page of the Bee. In the sports section? Yes, I get that, since they were kids on the soccer team. But that’s it, why would it go further?

Like most times, my dumbass is wrong.

Besides The Bee’s coverage, newscasts led with the story, Fresno’s top blogger - Jarah - has written about it, and Fresno Radio King – Ray Appleton - spent his whole two hours jawin' about it, Friday.

To me, the reason this scandal gets the play that it does is because the students are from Clovis West High School.

CW is considered Fresno’s premier High School. It's where Bullard, Hoover and Fresno High area sellouts bring their kids. Where scared whitey parents think their children will get into less trouble so they’ll have to do less parenting.

I always just assumed cheating on SAT tests wasn’t all that rare. I wouldn’t have thought anybody outside of the family and school would even know about it. I’m sure Clovis West and the family’s involved wish I was actually right this time.