DORKTOWN

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

Remove children and Sam Raimi from Spiderman

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Before I get to a brief Spidey 3 review - we couldn't call ourselves Dorktown if we didn't review "3" - I have a demand: Don't bring your children to a late showing of a movie ... EVER!

So, we go to Broadway Faire for my first screening of Spiderman. We Pick a 10:45 PM showing because Broadway is always the least busiest of the Fresno area theaters and there shouldn't be any children to deal with at 10:45 ... Right?

WRONG!

We're inside, sitting in the next to last row, trailers are about to start, even with the theatre seventy percent full, I'm feeling confident that nobody is going to sit behind us. Then, in walks a mom with six, count 'em, six kids ranging from two to eight. I don't know if they're all hers, doesn't really matter, I just know that they're sure to be sitting behind us...and they do.

Ya just want to stand up and say "Lady, how the HELL do you think it's at all a good idea to bring a shit-load of kids to a two-hour plus movie late at night, you thoughtless asshole!" It's borderline child abuse.

Of course, throughout the movie, there was all the classics: seat kicking, crying, random question asking, whining, sneezing and coughing - all the glares and comments in the world did nothing to stop this.

There needs to be a theatre that steps up and doesn't allow children inside after ten. Is that really so much to ask?

Now back to the quick Spiderman review:
Spidey 3 director Sam Raimi has managed to derail the Spiderman franchise. How does a person whom supposedly knows Spiderman and movie making inside and out, do that? I really didn't think this franchise would wander down the Batman sequels path, but it did. Too many villains with not enough story, that's the big problem with "3".

But maybe worse than that, the little things: Countless worthless crowd reactions. Cheesy news reports that reported WHAT WE WERE ALREADY SEEING! Terrible montages. Several slow sections that could have been replaced with something meaningful or just cut. Complete miss-use of the Venom character and what it does to Spiderman. Really Raimi? That's all you could get from the Venom character? Fucking VENOM?

I admit, my sour review of Spiderman was influenced by what I went through in the back of the Broadway Faire theatre. Spiderman is still a decent flick. Any movie that features Spiderman is worth watching; regardless of how many kids sit behind you.

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