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THE RESULTS ARE IN:
2005 RULED ASS
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There are too many damn awards
shows – we know. But how many wiffleball award shows are
there? Six? Twenty three? Ninety nine?
Well, none is too many, but that’s not stopping us from having
one.
This year’s awards aren’t
dictated to you by the comish (as in the past). These have
been voted on by the FWL players themselves.
A
new voting system that was long overdue and the players let
their voices be heard. Even some non-playing people got
their opinions in.
So with no added a due…the 2005
FWLIES
HIT KING: FORD |
Aaron and Bells talk before their
historic game |
The sly bat skills of Cole Steamer,
Aaron Ford, have brought him another hitting title. “Because Ford
played only eight games but had 30 homers and 66 runs scored.”
- FWL columnist, JK. Only one vote went to another hitter
(Bells).
It’s very likely Ford would have
beaten his own homerun record had he played a full season.
Unfortunately, he may never have another chance at that record with
his team being moved to La Selva Beach.
PITCHING PROWES: LANCE
Dayton Drunk, Mike Seay says, “That
friggin’ curve-slurve-slider thingie…I hate that pitch. It
looks like a ball every time, and even if you hit it, it’s just a
slap hit for nothing.” Lance had 81 strikeouts, 33 more than
his closest competitor, C (whom played many more games than Lance).
Bells only fell one vote shy of
wining Pitcher of the Year with a career season. D’Wood Law Dawg,
Crease, received one mysterious vote - an investigation is underway.
FIELDING SKILLS: C
You get the feeling the league was
throwing Dayton’s, C, a bone here. Although, nobody seems to
get more runners, with “throw-outs”.
Aaron also received a deserving
vote. Bells got a lone vote as well. (Sensing a trend
with one players’ ballot?)
BEST TEAM: BARSTOW and COLE
Even with their second and third
place finishes, Ford and Bells received the only votes – and the
same amount. A closer look reveals that the reasoning might be
the stellar performance of Barstow in the postseason and the
consistently solid Cole Steamers’ regular season play.
This award could have even gone to
Lance’s team but Barstow
and Cole are well deserving of this honor.
STORY OF THE YEAR: BELLS IS
THE CHAMPION
This was the lone unanimous pick.
There were many great stories; Lance and Patrick joining the league,
being one of them. But the obvious choice was Bells and his,
exciting and mildly surprising, championship run.
WHAT SUCKS ABOUT THE FWL
Everybody had biting opinions on
this one. Here is a sampling:
LOS - “Lack of interest by Slick,
Burns and Los – they should be banned unless we see less of C and we
get kegs at first and home.”
JK – “The scoreboard – maybe it
could be made differently with wood instead of dry-erase board.”
BELLS – “Lack of a qualified comish
(Beard is deeply missed).”
LANCE – “Nothing.”
C – “Los, D and Burns were no-shows
and there isn’t a hot-tub.”
FORD – “C’s performance and the
participation [lack of] by the MIA’s”
FAVORITE 2005 MEMORY
LANCE – “The championship game – an
epic, hard fought battle by two warriors that wouldn’t give in for
anything less than victory.”
C – “Drunk Day was the best. A
full day of drinking, wiffleball and podcasting – what could be
better?”
FORD – “Bells pulling off the
miracle and Drunk Day a close second.”
JK – “The video rocked because I
can’t chug on over to CA every weekend to watch [the games].”
BELLS – “I’m the fuckin’ champ dude!
It doesn’t get better than that.”
WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN IN 2006
C – “More video, players, girls,
girls, beer, and girls.”
JK – “Better video (get a new
camera), more players along with 2on2 and 3on3 games.”
LANCE – “A second field, hopefully a
la Larsen Stadium.”
LOS – “More beer and less C.”
BELLS – “The recognition of the
Boozers dynasty.”
FORD – “Solano kicking the shit out
of Barstow.”
THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT
Now was that so bad? There was no
terrible presenter banter. Billy Crystal didn’t sing anything.
One hundred Marshall Mathers didn’t come walking in. Nobody
thanked their God or their mom or got booted off-stage by “wrap it
up” music.
Nope, none of that crap - just plain
wiffleball awards. As our champion Bells said, “It doesn’t get
better than that.”
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